[[*Fading To Black*]]

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

[[do i really exist?]]

after stooping so low. to say sorry to you. we are just back the same aint it? back to the hi bye, good morning , good night type of strangers.

am i really important to you that you want to keep? or am i just another random girl?
when we were together for the pass few days when we where happier, you kept on reassuring me.. why cant you do that now?

do i really have go stand lower to throw myself on you when you probably dont even want or would cherish it..

i guess you are probably back to sleep.. i probably didnt matter anymore.

i have no idea why im doing this either.

i really doubt my importance to you. if i die now and then, probably you would only start regretting and start cherish me. and after that, just fnd another girl and live happily ever after.

but at least.. my pain would go away.. and i wont be waiting like an idiot for your reply. for you to say something.

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|9:05 PM|

[[]]

I wish I could just die in my sleep.

Let me stop all these sufferings.

Let me get knock down by a car tml when I cycle to work and make sure I die on the spot.

To carry all these pain on my back. It will just kill me one day. I know avoiding them wont do a thing. But what else can I do?

Even if I'm willing to face it, it needs 2 hands to clap.

Just let me die in my sleep. Today.

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|7:45 AM|

[[Damned life]]

As of anyone would care about my pathetic little life.

Everytime it comes to this point.. I just feel so painful I just want to give up.

好累好累..

I thought we would be giving each other happiness.. Not tiredness nor pain..

I thought we've probably really still got hope for the future... I could still see the future.. But now it's been blocked again..

If we can't get through this damn part. We will never be able to get a future.

我们都配不上叫朋友.. Because real friends after quarrelling would get back like nothing happened. But everything that happened is stabbing my heart and making it bleed.

Nose stuck, eyes swollen. Now I need to pray I can fall asleep.

And probably start to learn not to rely on someone too much.

Because I'm afraid I can't stand back up ..

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|7:36 AM|

[[痛苦痛苦好痛苦]]

I know crying wont solve a damm thing. But I just can't help it. Eyes are getting swollen and I can feel it. Things are just repeating and repeating when I thought it's only just gonna get better..

You said both of us is in a bad mood. Why the hell do u have to be in a bad mood when I'm the one being and felt ignored.
And now I'm really gonna just get ignored..

Tml will just be the same as the last 2 years we have been through so lifelessly. Nothing will be solve. It will just be morning and night conversation again, we are probably gonna distance ourselves again. We will have to problem talking to each other again. Why? Because we just avoiding that damm question and don't dare the face the facts.

We will be back to that careful talking person that isn't ourselves. You and I would go bak and find someone we are comfortable to complain to. And there goes my mind. Complain to that girl.. :) gg.com

Well if that's the case, does that mean I have lost my rights on getting upset? So to avoid this type of situation?

好累!!!!!!!!!!!!! 头好痛!!!! 眼泪不停地流..
你叫我真么睡呢??

You say it as if it doesn't bother you and it probably really won't bother you.. And you probably would also sleep like a dead log until tml afternoon..

好像真正在痛苦的人只有我..

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|7:26 AM|

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

[[i just wish to go back time.]]

if you didnt get the hint. im telling you obviously here.

im feeling lonely, for a very long time now. im not able to get attention from my family, at least let me get yours. you are probably the only lawful one that i would like to get from. but if you dont want to, i understand as well, im just giving myself 3 mths more. if things still doesnt work out, i will give up on this relationship.

im tired. i dont know how to talk to you anymore. how should i tell you i just had a big quarrel with mom that made me cried my lungs out because she found out i told bro about the cctv that she placed in the praying room, and i wished to contact you but i dont know what to say to you anymore, i dont know if i still can get the concern i want from you anymore, if i can get a action of a dream come true. you probably dont love me as much anymore, because both of us dont feel the love still exist. we start to quarrel everytime we meet over small little things, and can just ignore each other because non of us wants to take the first move anymore. we probably already lost the love we needed to always push ourselves to make the first move like how we started and was afraid everytime each other would get angry.

i still rmb the first time we were together and i cried. because you were dating me and you still have the picture of ur ex in your phone. i was so upset i teared up, and tears was flowing away just right in the mrt station.you picked up my hand and hold me tight, pat me on my head and consoled me until i stopped. and you took ur phone and deleted them all at once.

the very first day we date, 161108, is also where we first kissed, just behind my block at the park, we took pictures tgt and it was so sweet, it is probably the sweetest moment ever, you hold me in ur arms, you said you see me smiling so sweetly you just cant control yourself and kissed me. our smiles, warmth, hugs kisses, were so wonderful back then.

i just wanted that feelings back thats all. it probably is possible if we both start trying again.

things at home is already making me suffocating, i dont have much friends that i can actually hang out with if u had realised. so give me your attention, not just the morning and the night, even when sometimes i dont reply you, just continue on. why give up ?

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|10:07 PM|

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

[[Understand]]

How many of you guys, my friends, really understand me?

What I want, what I need, what I'm thinking of..

You don't understand obviously..
Because what I needed wasn't just asking me not to do something because it's out of my control. But to comfort me, concern and care, share my thoughts for me.. Reassure me, this is what I want. And you just don't understand.. :( there's a reason behind every statement I make.

I said I miss you.. And Saturday is too far away. Why can't you just take the hint that I just want to meet you sooner.. :/

One more weight added on to my heart.

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|8:56 AM|

Thursday, August 9, 2012

[[]]

I bet if I don't make a first move to talk to you. You probably won't talk to me either.. And we will have silence for days.. And tml will be a terrible day for me because it's my off day..

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|6:29 PM|

[[*The Fading Soul*]]

Name:
Bdae:
Nicks:
Skool:
Contact:

[[*My Adores*]]

Food:
Drinks:
Pastimes:
People:

[[*My Detests*]]

People:
Things:
Food:

[[*Music's Playing*]]

Artist:
Song:

//visit Iwebmusic for music

[[*My Past Memories*]]

[[*The Conversations*]]

<----Insert

Taggie

Board

here----->

[[*My Friends*]]

[[*Credits*]]