[[*Fading To Black*]]

Saturday, January 30, 2010

[[unable to understand things..]]

what is wrong with me?
everything.

i dont know too..
you know..how you tell me things is like rubbing salt to my wound..

im selfish, im greedy, im a big fat pain in the ass..
i dont know how ling this can last.. really..

my heart misses the warmth u gave me when we started. misses the care and attention you give..

sometimes, i rather im always crying infront of you, so that i could get all the attention and warmth and care and almost everything that i always wanted from you.

looking at his blog, every single things he said, how i wish i had this from you..

sometimes i really hate myself..
why do i need to be like this? so freaking attention seeking..
i dont know what i can do more to make you feel good anymore..
i dont know how to make myself happy anymore..
i dont know how to get a life anymore...

its now just a lifeless me..
everyone is saying that..

he spends every single minute thinking and missing his gf...
he spends 75% of his time with her..
trying his best to accompany her all the time..

me? i only know how to complain, how to wait, how to be upset...
that is me?
change?
im not sure..
i dont even wanna try.. cus i dont know what will i get back from..

lesser and lesser time from you?

stupid me..
really freaking stupid idiotic me..
i hate myself to the core..
till sometimes.. i wonder..
why do i always get in and out of love..
why am i even on this planet..
sigh...

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|8:27 AM|

Friday, January 1, 2010

[[]]

what is the use of caring when you dont show it to me??
do you really care??
if im upset, unhappy,or even depress..

dont tell me u didnt know how to cheer me up..

you didnt come forward to me..
im always the one who go forward to you..
hugs and kisses..
most of the time..

i wanted you to hug me so much..
and tell me its okay...

do you know the language of love, care and... tears?

words but no actions..
u always tell me how much you love me..
do u really mean it??

i dont feel it...
im getting restless..

so much.. yet so little..
so long time yet so short...

you have been in ns for so long..
you ever think of how i felt
i dont think so..
u only thought of urself.. ur family.. you..
and troubles, problem, blaming, excuses..

me? im jus a cause and a problem...

what i wanted so much that can make me feel so much better..
is just a hug.. and a kiss...
ask urself.. did u ever do it??
how many times u did it on urself..
not by me asking..

normally..
this only occur, when u know im angry with u.. and u appear at my door the next day..
its always like this..

im really fading away...
i hate to keep contact now..
i hate myself..
ihutoo...

make me hate u and i will..

a crack in my heart..

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|12:33 AM|

[[*The Fading Soul*]]

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